faith unfaded

Jesus promises that signs and wonders will follow for those who believe and trust in Him.

This morning’s sunrise was a perfect example of the dawning of a new day—and a new chapter for me.

I’d hit a new low, one I haven’t seen in years. Anger and vengeance had taken up residence where peace and joy normally live. My heart started keeping score and forgiveness was in short supply.

I’m no stranger to the fire within. It burns hot and wild. The thing is, there’s a fire for sharing Jesus, helping people, and sharing hope.

And then there’s the one with torches and pitchforks. You might burn down the village, but you perish right along with the rest.

You can’t mix holy and worldly fire.

I went to bed exhausted last night. Tired of carrying grief and fear and hurt and regret. Tired of carrying the past and the future, when just carrying today was enough. Tired of trying to grieve perfectly and hating myself when I faltered.

I was just plain tired of not being okay.

I laid it all down and slept soundly.

I woke up, not just ready to face the day, but ready to live again. It still hurts—grief doesn’t just disappear—and losing your mother forever changes you. But the best way to honor my mom is to live a life I know she’d be proud of.

Including getting up at the crack of dawn to take Dad to a doctor’s appointment in Baton Rouge!