faith unfaded

Just this week Mary sent me a FB screenshot and asked me how I knew someone. I thought, “Oh no, I like this guy. She’s about to tell me something and I’m going to have to hate him now.”

I mean, that’s how friendships work, right?!

Turns out she used to work with him and was just curious. Whew! My social media friendship was saved. 😅

But seriously, I started thinking about this biblically. We are not to pick up offenses for other people. I’ve worked hard not to absorb someone’s anger toward someone else. It’s hard when it’s my family—especially my sister.

As her big sister, I’d always felt the need to protect her. (As the years progressed, those roles reversed!) But it is still not easy to keep from picking up her offenses. Or my dad’s. Or my kids’. The love and loyalty we feel towards our loved ones tell us we should support them by joining their side.

The Bible tells us the complete opposite. Don’t let your heart get hardened by anyone’s battles—your own or someone else’s.

Mary and I usually get this right, because our relationship with God even supersedes our relationship with each other.

After a particularly bad falling out with a friend who said some horrible things to me a few years ago, Mary was conflicted about continuing to hang around with her.

“Do NOT let your friendship be affected by what happened with us,” I told her.

Did my heart want to say, “Please don’t ever talk to that b—- again!” Absolutely. There had been a war and I wanted to be the victor who got the spoils. Or in this case, the mutual friends.

But I knew better. Keeping my heart pure and unblemished is more important to me than “winning” these days. My heart didn’t quite match my words—at first. But over time it did.

It isn’t easy to stay neutral when someone you love is hurt. Our natural inclination is to step in.
But you can give support without absorbing the conflict yourself.

Sometimes that means praying for wisdom. Sometimes it means showing grace. And sometimes it means duct-taping your mouth shut. 😅