faith unfaded

It had been four days since I’d gotten the call that my mom had had a massive stroke. I’d immediately driven from Tennessee—canceling the rest of the summer road trip I’d spent months planning. In an instant, my priorities changed.

I knew a couple of things instantly. One, I was never going to be ready to say goodbye. Whether it was now or 20 years from now, I was always going to want just one more day.

The second was that Satan would try to make me feel guilty. For having chosen a travel assignment over staying home when I had a funny feeling the morning I said goodbye. For not calling every single day while on the road. No matter the hundreds of memories we made in the last year alone, he was going to try to make me feel like I messed up.

I even knew the difference in the mental attacks. The latter was a spiritual attack—darts thrown by Satan. They wouldn’t be the only darts he’d throw during this time.

The former was in my flesh—partly a natural inclination to always want more and partly my own tendencies to overdo everything. I always want more.

I had to guard against both while simultaneously handling grief and sorrow.
If my pain came with a report card, I wasn’t flunking but I wasn’t acing it either.

I was praying for my mom. I was praying for my dad, for my sister, for the grandkids. I wasn’t praying for myself. I was trying to walk honorably, without asking the Lord to help me stay upright.

It was no surprise that I fell flat on my face that day.

I let myself spiral a few minutes longer than I should have. Then I turned on the radio. Keep Me Strong Lord was playing. It was exactly what my heart needed to hear.

🎶 Your mighty love
I will embrace through every storm
Through every song
You are my strength
You keep me strong 🎶

It was a timely reminder to pray for strength to survive the storm. One of my favorite new shirts says, “I have survived too many storms to be bothered by raindrops.” And for the last year, that’s what they all were—mere raindrops. This was the first true storm, and a tsunami of grief was threatening to take me out.

But His goodness prevailed. And in the midst of one of the most difficult periods of my life, He has given me the strength to endure.

Keep Me Strong Lord (All for God, 2025)

Keep me strong Lord
I know Your love won’t drift away
Keep me strong Lord
Keep me strong Lord
With every step I trust Your hand

https://youtu.be/tXFmFGumqAI?is=Z1xJ_d8-FgS_JuBG