faith unfaded

Wow! That’s all I can say!

Okay, this is me. I can say so much more.

I woke up this morning feeling 100% for the first time in over a month. It has been unbelievably hard to walk in the Spirit when you feel like someone is holding you underwater. The dizziness alone made it hard to stand, much less function normally.

I’d texted Mary. “Finally got some pot. Feel much better.”

“Pot?!” I could hear [The Miss Magnolia Senior Citizen Beauty Pageant character] Eaddy Mae in her reply. “I don’t mean to get in your personal business but…”

“Potassium!” I quickly replied. I hadn’t realized my shorthand could be wildly misconstrued. 😜

I’d been discharged from the hospital when my electrolyte levels had barely gotten out of the danger zone. Within two days, I was right back where I’d started. I struggled for the next two weeks.

I was beginning to think operating at 75% was my new normal. Is God just trying to get me to sit still, I wondered. I am NOT a sit-still kind of person. I wasted too much life in the past — I’m on a mission to recoup some of that lost time!

I woke up this morning with a clear head. No dizziness. No submerged feeling. I was awake and I felt alive. I felt great. I felt…normal.

It is telling that our mental well-being takes a hit when we are physically ill. While my faith remained strong, my ability to react and respond positively in difficult situations was hindered. Because I hate making mistakes — especially those that hurt others — my mind had fresh ammo to attack me. It became a vicious cycle and a reminder that you should spend more time in your prayer closet when physically ill.

But today’s overwhelming feeling is not guilt or regret. It’s gratitude. I’m so thankful for healing, for a return to normalcy. The clock was ticking — I leave Wednesday for three back-to-back trips for the next three weeks — and I was worried. But God is an on-time God and He knew my needs.

I’m back!!!!!