faith unfaded

I recently compared a falling out with a friend to a cut on a tree, the tree sealing itself off and creating a protective barrier around the wound in order to survive.

It got me thinking about how friendships are like trees in so many other ways as well.

There are strong and mighty oaks that last a lifetime. Those solid friendships are robust and withstand a plethora of storms. Occasionally a big enough storm will come along and uproot even the sturdiest of trees but most survive, bending and adapting to the storms of life.

New friendships are saplings that need nurturing in order to thrive. Some need more care than others and some will not make it no matter how much effort you put into it. Many friendships are just seasonal. When the common bond (work, kid’s ball team) ends so does the friendship.

That doesn’t mean they must be hewn down. A friendship tree that no longer bears fruit in your presence may still be a great source of nutrition for others. We all must eat in our own garden.

While those friendships segue more into friendly acquaintances in a beautiful festival of trees, there are the ones that sprout up like giant beanstalks with evil at the top. You must guard against climbing the wicked vine.

Don’t fool yourselves. Bad friends will destroy you. 1 Corinthians 15:33

Consider yourself blessed if you have one true friend in life.

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

Always be the friend you want others to be to you.

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:12-13

Always try to water and nurture the friendship tree before taking an axe to it.

Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity. Psalm 133:1

Be the bigger friend in times of conflict.

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Romans 12:10

Remember spiritual warfare. Satan used a tree to separate Adam and Eve from God. He seeks to devour friendships and often uses other people to do it.

A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends. Proverbs 16:28

Stand firm knowing you’ve been a friend the Lord is pleased with even if the friendship decay is too strong to overcome.

One who forgives an affront fosters friendship, but one who dwells on disputes will alienate a friend. Proverbs 17:9

Friendships are a two-way street. You can only take care of your side, crossing over the median a little if necessary. But you can’t maintain the road alone.

Sometimes the friendship tree rot is too great. Sometimes the other person decided to chop down the tree against your wishes. Sometimes Satan got in and whacked away without either of you realizing it. Some trees just die.

But some survive after compartmentalization. Sometimes you just have to walk away and let the Sun do what you can’t. Jesus is the Miracle-Gro who restores and reconciles.

There’s no forestry map in life to let you know which friendships will end permanently and which will come back around. There’s no foreknowledge of new trees that will sprout up or which ones will need tree surgery. But there is the knowledge that Jesus will be with you through it all.

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. Matthew 28:20