I love heart-to-heart conversations with my children. The older they get, the fewer and further between they become. They are, after all, young adults finding their own paths in this world.
Still, it’s a treat for a mom when one of her kids wants to just sit and share what’s on their mind. For me, it rarely happens on the phone but often does when we are together in person.
My middle daughter is a prime example.
She won’t reach out by phone but the conversations we have when I visit are deep and meaningful. They often end with her wondering why she didn’t come to me sooner.
Quite simply, I always understand. I made her; she’s a part of me. And my love for her holds no condemnation, no matter what the circumstances.
I wonder why she would even doubt that.
Lately, I’ve been going through some trials. Some annoying (a floor that is in a perpetual state of being refinished), some frustrating (a car that took its last breath), and some scary (a needed surgery I can’t afford).
I’ve done my best to practice everything I’ve preached. Be patient; the floor won’t be like this forever. Be grateful; my husband has a new truck and doesn’t mind driving me anywhere I need to go. Have faith; the Lord can provide the money needed for surgery or heal it to where I don’t even need surgery.
But sometimes I’m just overwhelmed and I retreat into a world of fiction in books and television shows. The more I escape, the less I talk to the Lord. Then I become ashamed and retreat even more.
I found myself in this very place a couple of weeks ago. It had been several days since I’d prayed and I was scared. What will He say to me? Does He hate me? Is he disappointed in me?
I approached Him with great trepidation.
I ended the conversation with great relief.
It hadn’t been a one-sided conversation. I listened to the words He spoke deep within my heart. Words full of love and understanding. Words that made feel loved and understood. Words that soothed my troubled soul.
Why didn’t I do that sooner? What was I so afraid of? When has He ever not understood?
All of a sudden, I thought about my daughter. I’m just like her, I thought. When will I learn?
I understand a mother’s love. I’ve been a mother for over half my life.
It’s time I started realizing that the Father’s love is even greater.