cancel culture.  a way of behaving in a society or group in which it is common to completely reject and stop supporting someone because they have said or done something that offends you.

Uh-oh. Right off the bat, I’m in trouble because I know that I have (sometimes willingly, sometimes unknowingly) said and done things to offend people. My kids, my parents, my friends, my coworkers…..look, I mess up. Even now, with my life devoted to Christ, I still sometimes say the wrong things. Does that mean my life is over? That I should be ostracized?

Worse yet, what about all the times I’ve offended God? Has He canceled me?

I know that we are in a very divisive climate right now. Some of it is completely unnecessary and some of it is long-overdue. I know that my perspective comes from a place of privilege and my eyes have been slow to understand the plights of others at times. But I’m striving to listen, to speak out, and to be a light in a darkening world.

I won’t always get it right.

Fortunately, my circle is small enough that my mistakes are largely ignored. (Except by two of my daughters who’ve deputized themselves as my own personal woke police!) But for others, people in positions of power or just plain celebrity, it’s one strike and you’re out. I just can’t get on board with this.

Where’s the grace? Where’s the forgiveness? “Canceling” someone (or their business) over something they said that offended someone is just perpetuating the hatred we are trying to move away from. People search social media pictures from years past just looking for some reason to vilify someone.

So many things have happened in the past week, both in my real life and in the news, that all boil down to this cancel culture and I’m very unsettled.

A reality star came under fire this week for a photo of her wearing a Yeezy jacket with a Confederate flag on it from 7 years ago. My question is not why Kanye West could make it but she couldn’t wear it, but why someone is going through 7 years of photos to take this girl down.

Another reality star attended an antebellum plantation party in college a few years ago. Not only are people upset with her, they are calling for the head of the popular host who defended her. I’m from the South; I get it. But excusing it feels like throwing a match into an already uncontrollable wildfire. While he may permanently lose his job over defending her, I admire that he stood up for her.

Yesterday I read about a mayor in a small Texas town who posted a rambling message about how people who froze to death were stupid and it was their own fault. I was shocked by his statements but was even more surprised to see he resigned the next day. Was this the first time he said or did something so offensive? Was a heartfelt apology even an option? Or are we back to one strike and you’re out?

I’ve always wanted to run for office. I’d love to serve on a school board or a city council. I love being a part of a community and I love making my voice heard even more! I know I’d be a great elected official. But I figured out long ago that the offices I held would only be appointed ones. People do deep dives to dig up dirt on elected officials and you barely have to turn over the topsoil to get me canceled in today’s culture.

What if God operated on the one-strike-you’re-out policy? I’d have been out a long time ago. He sent Jesus just so we wouldn’t be condemned by our mistakes. He gives grace when we don’t deserve it. He shows mercy for us even when we are at our worst.

Education is good. My eyes were really opened when I took a church member, a non-English speaking Latino, to the ER. He was days, if not hours, from having to have his foot amputated. When I stepped out to make a call, they wrapped him back up without treating him and discharged him. I was appalled. It wouldn’t have happened if I’d have still been in the room and it certainly wouldn’t have happened if I had been the patient. I fought through the system to get him treated (staying with him every step of the way) and after 8 weeks of wound care, he was healed. It was my first experience seeing privilege from the opposite standpoint and it made me understand so much more.

I had another epiphany just today, one that made me thankful that the Lord continues to open my eyes and heart. We were having breakfast at Waffle House and one of the servers had a birthday crown on with the dollars pinned to her shirt. I’ve seen this for years, always thinking it was crass. I certainly didn’t grow up this way, I’d think.

I didn’t grow up that way, I thought today. I grew up with lavish birthday parties and presents and cake. Most of the people who wear birthday dollars never had such luxuries. That money is probably all they get. I was humbled and ashamed for not realizing this before.

I am doing my part to be understanding of the plight of those around me. We should all strive to see things from others’ perspectives.

But we should also all give grace and forgiveness when others fall short. Just as God so freely gives us.