faith unfaded

I once thrived on the ride. Well, perhaps not in a healthy way, but I’d conditioned myself to function with pendulum mood swings — manic highs and depressive lows — and general chaos.

I thought life would be boring otherwise.

I’d been deceived.

Because a life lived in peace with the joy of the Lord is more vibrant than anything I could’ve imagined.

But it’s also like a big red target on your soul for Satan. I recognize him in the fractured relationships and physical ailments. I rebuke or ignore him to the point that I neglect self-care sometimes. I’m still learning to discern when to fight and when to rest.

I’m still battling something physical. I feel like I’m operating at 75% these days. Which is better than the 25% from a month ago but nowhere close to where I want to be.

I continue to stand firm on James 1:12: Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

I’m no stranger to testing or trials. I am proud that I pass most of them these days. Not all, but most. Progress, not perfection.

One thing that’s different these days is I have a steadfastness that doesn’t waver, a faith that doesn’t fade. I named my blog Faith Unfaded long before I knew how to operate in it.

But God knew. He doesn’t see our mistakes, our shortcomings. He sees our potential. He sees who He created us to be.

Because of that, I will persevere.