One of the last remaining things I kept turning over to the Lord—and then taking back—was my need for control.
If I controlled circumstances, I could mitigate pain. Of course, it never quite worked out like that. I was still left holding the reins, a whole lot of hurt, and a feeling of failure.
It was a pattern—this giving and taking—a declaration of trust in the Lord, then the subtle shift of thinking I could handle it on my own much better.
Spoiler alert: I couldn’t.
I missed one important part of Matthew 11:28-30:
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
The Lord is the lead ox, not me.
When I get that mixed up, I become nothing more than a backseat driver with an obstructed view and a loud mouth.
You should ride shotgun in your own life, but let Jesus take the wheel.
Backseat Driver (TobyMac, 2015)
Silly me, silly me, aye
Revertin’ back to my old ways
Them got to be in control days
Jump before I pray
I don’t wanna be no backseat driver
I don’t wanna navigate, won’t You take it over
I don’t wanna ever doubt You, I’m lost without You Lord
No, I don’t wanna be no backseat driver
You got the wheel, take me where You wanna go
My heart is Yours, no matter where we roll
Are you letting the Lord take the lead? Or do you fight to maintain control? The need for control is often a trauma-based response. It takes faith and trust in God to let it go. But the minute it leaves your heart, healing begins.
https://youtu.be/4XNgNyEt96w?si=l4GsuWXzEBtO4XaS
faith unfaded 
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