faith unfaded

I often write about choosing joy, so it’s no surprise when the Lord tests me on it. Today’s quiz was a doozy—but my determination to choose joy ultimately landed me a passing grade, even if I didn’t ace it.

I’m leaving in two days for a five-week, twelve-city holiday trip assignment across the country. I’ve been planning it for over six months, every detail of my 3,000-mile trip down to how I’d pack my car.

The car that’s still in the shop.

I’ve prayed fervently it would be ready in time, certain God would answer. Besides, they’d had it for more than a week. Surely they’d finish before I left.

A quick call today to check on the status revealed that they just discovered an undetected fuel pressure issue. I’d suspected it was fuel-related all along—because it only acted up after getting gas—but somehow my “diagnosis” was overlooked, costing valuable time.

He told me there was no way I’d have it back before Friday.

The tears started before I even ended the call. Frustrated by the lack of urgency—and by having my insight dismissed—I was most troubled by something deeper: the sudden absence of joy in my heart. I knew I’d get over it eventually, but I wanted to be over it right then.

So I let myself feel the letdown while also elevating gratitude. I did have another car to take, and that was the most important thing. Still, it was okay to grieve what I’d lost: hands-free phone calls, my Bluetooth playlists, room to rearrange suitcases in the back of the car, and—most of all—driving in freezing temps over mountainous roads in the car that’s become a second home. The disappointment was palpable.

Thinking of all the adjustments I now needed to make sent me into another wave of tears.

And then I did what any girl in her not-so-right mind would do: I called my sister.

Sisters have a way of commiserating, validating, and encouraging all at once. By the time I hung up, I was determined to adjust to a new plan. Staying upset wouldn’t change the circumstances, nor would I feel any better. If anything, I’d eventually end up having to repent for my attitude, my mouth, and my refusal to count it all joy. This time, I was going to make myself choose joy.

A few minutes later, I caught myself laughing—and realized joy had, in fact, overtaken frustration.

While the car situation seems like a big deal to me right now, I know in retrospect it will have only been a minor setback. Not all trials in life will be so simplistic.

If I can learn to choose joy when the smaller things happen, I’ll also be able to choose joy in tragedy. That’s what I want: a heart so anchored in Christ that it chooses joy even in the midst of suffering.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” James 1:2–3