faith unfaded

A couple of years ago I was going through one of the most difficult times of my life. After being lukewarm in my faith for a few years, the Lord had restored my hurting heart and renewed my passion for serving Him.

It came with quite an attack.

One of the first things I realized was that listening to music that fueled fighting back in the flesh always led to more heartache. I was sabotaging the battle completely. When I began listening to worship music every day, I fueled not only my spirit but my mind as well. I began winning the battles that used to derail me.

My attitude changed, my thought processes changed, and my reactions changed. The very top of my playlist was Higher by Unspoken. I listened to it every single morning and often throughout the day. I even put a lyric on FB bio reminding me that my every word and action is for His glory and not my own.

“If I’m ever in the spotlight, I’ll point it back Your way…”

But the main lyric I grabbed ahold of deep within is “the lower I go, the more I’m gonna lift You higher..”

There were many bouts of depression during that time. I lost friends (both during my crisis AND after I started faithfully serving God), my kids went through periods of no contact with me, and I lost a couple of writing jobs that had caused so much joy.

But those words would echo in my brain. The lower I go, the more I’m gonna lift you higher! I started running toward Him in times of trouble. I started praising Him even louder. I started LOOKING for Him in the midst of the rubble knowing that if He took something away, He had a reason.

It is still one of my favorite worship songs, one that feels like a cozy blanket on a snowy day. Those feelings of utter despair are so far removed, even though most of those relationships and neither of those jobs were restored. But I honored Him and, in turn, He replaced relationships and opportunities.

There is no one or no thing that matters more to me than Him. I’ll shake the dust off my feet from those who reject me (Matthew 10:15), rebuke the devil (James 4:7), and keep marching on (Joel 2:7).

This week’s focus is to praise Jesus when things go wrong. From a broken copier to a glass of spilled milk, from loved ones whose words cut deeply to evildoers whose actions are meant to destroy….lift God even higher.

Higher, Unspoken (2016)

I gotta try to do right when life’s doing me wrong
Gotta shake the dust off my feet and keep marchin’ on
When trouble weighs me down, brings me to my knees
Lord, my needs are many, but that’s a pretty
Yeah, a pretty good place to be

Don’t blame it on the preacher ’cause the preacher done told
“The devil’s got a target on my heart and my soul”
But let me tell you, brother, what the devil don’t know

The lower I go, the more I’m gonna lift you
Higher (higher) higher (higher) higher
I’m gonna lift you higher (higher) higher (higher) higher
God Almighty, you are worthy
Higher (higher) higher (higher) higher

I may never get money, I may never have fame
But if I’m ever in the spotlight, I’ll point it back your way
‘Cause standing at the top was never-ever my goal
But if you put me on a mountain then I’ll tell the whole world
Singing hallelujah ’til I hit the dirt, oh