faith unfaded

Today was the day for quiet reflection. I’d had eight fabulous days on a travel assignment to Texas, but not without trials, including some rather unpleasant attacks both online and IRL.

I kept moving along, blocking texts when necessary and otherwise blowing off verbal vomit when an unprovoked character assassination popped up on one of my posts last night. I was cussed at, insulted, and provoked, my silence only fueling the fire. It wasn’t even someone I knew, but a follower who- in an inebriated state- had been offended at my preference to travel with the windows down when driving the Gulf Coast.

It made no sense, but then again, people in active addiction rarely do. I’ve been down that road myself and I’d wondered if he was in a blackout state. Demons have full control when a person reaches that state and I am often one of their favorite targets. I actually felt a little sorry for him when he turned his vitriol on my sister, who is nowhere near as sensitive as I am. Let’s just say- I’m glad she’s on my side!

When I woke up this morning, I deleted their exchange from my page, but couldn’t erase it from my mind.

“Why?” I’d asked God. I genuinely care about people and had done nothing to warrant this. It was the third such attack this week, and it had by far been the worst.

“This is only a preview of what is to come,”the Lord said. “There will be people who are nice to your face and secretly hate you. There will be loved ones bringing up your past in an attempt to discredit you. There will be strangers who hate you for absolutely no reason at all. This week I gave you a taste of each.”

“What am I supposed to do?” I’d asked. It’s no secret to those who know me best that I wear my heart on my sleeve. It is both a blessing and a curse to be so sensitive.

“You need tougher skin.”

Wait, what?! I was confused. I’d once tried to build up walls around my heart, to be cynical and jaded in a world where kindness is mistaken for weakness. Immediately I knew I was changing something God had created in me for a purpose.

“I thought you wanted me to keep this tender heart,” I’d replied.

“Listen carefully,” He spoke. “Tougher skin, same tender heart.” I was to love like always, but not take it so personally when that love was rejected.

“I am engrafting spiritual armor onto you.” I pictured RoboCop with tiny flecks of armor seamlessly woven into my skin. I remembered a not-too-long ago prayer that I wanted to be stronger, tougher. I thought it would come from the gym. God had a different strength in mind.

I then saw a spa, but instead of sloughing off dead skin, the Lord was buffing in new armor. I needed to lay back and enjoy the treatment.

After a while I began to question the vision. The Bible says to PUT ON the spiritual armor. Am I sure this is God talking?

Let me point out that God doesn’t mind you questioning truth. He wants you to examine it.

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15

Sometimes we do get it wrong, our flesh telling us something we attribute to God. Sometimes the truth is so foreign that He follows it up with confirmation.

I ruminated on the vision for a couple of hours, settling in my heart that it was from God. He followed it up with another vision.

Same spa, new procedure. Permanent make-up. Indestructible cosmetics, perfect for when your makeup has worn off. Or you rush out the door without fixing your face. Not to take the place of makeup but to give you just a little on the days you need it the most.

This tougher skin, developed through trials, was merely permanent armor flakes. Like a Swedish massage, it may be unpleasant while the knots are being worked out but the end result is a completely relaxed spirit at all times.

And honestly, this is the best spa treatment I could’ve asked for!