faith unfaded

This morning was a reminder of my past, my present, and my future, all wrapped up in one 10-minute walk.

I’d realized on my last two travel assignments that my stamina was nowhere near where it used to be- or needed to be- so I decided my health would be top priority for the next two months. I’d work on it just as I would a looming deadline, giving it such energy and attention that by the time my Houston assignment rolled around in July, I’d developed habits that would be second nature.

I’ve done it before.

Taking off for the first of my two daily walks, I noticed the pond Dad had dug out last summer. It is still being perfected, much like me. What an excellent starting point.

I remembered the time 25 years ago when the Lord had used a pond to teach me. I’d been in a physical, mental, and spiritual mess- weighing 80 lbs and literally having to crawl to the bathroom because I was too weak to stand. I was sober- but actively dying from malnutrition- and hadn’t slept in over two weeks. The devil’s tormenting kept me awake and I had no will to live.

I ended up in a 90-day Christian home for women where healing began. There was a pond there as well and after I began sleeping and eating again, I started to walk it. At first only making it a few steps, by the end of three months, I was walking the 1/4 mile loop a dozen times without stopping. I gained strength one step at a time.

I also found that a walk in nature is the perfect place for fellowship with Christ. I don’t know why I’m so quick to abandon it sometimes.

I know the moment this became a real struggle for me again. All of the luncheons and restaurant reviews and travel eating had me packing on the pounds but I was still fairly active so it was manageable. Then I got the flu followed by pneumonia and was bedridden for three weeks, eating and sleeping only. After 2 weeks, I hadn’t gained a single pound and thought, “Wow. The Lord is going to protect me no matter what I do.”

Big mistake. Huge.

The pounds piled on after that, no matter how much or how little I ate. I’d made a huge mistake: I’d tempted God. (Deuteronomy 6:16, Matthew 4:7)

Halfheartedly trying to recommit to a healthy eating and exercise plan, my lack of discipline toward food and sedentary proclivities derailed me time after time.

But I’ve once again hit rock bottom. This temple I’m supposed to use for His glory was becoming a funhouse. It’s easy to dismiss vices that aren’t illegal or immoral. Food is a necessity. Being a couch potato isn’t a crime.

But gluttony is a sin. And not bringing every area of your life under submission to Christ is akin to letting one little mealworm into your apple orchard.

There is absolutely nothing I cannot do once I set my mind to it. It was time to set my sights on reclaiming my health.

I made a commitment. With the Lord’s help I crafted a plan. Flexible but smart. I have the tools. I’ve gained and lost a literal ton in my lifetime!

The one necessity- besides the major slowdown with my beloved Coca-Cola- is to put His yoke on me. Even when it comes to the food I put in my mouth and the exercise I do each day, His yoke makes the undertaking easier. (Matthew 11:29-30)

Empowered on my walk, I was excited about the journey. I’ve seen glimpses of the future and I know the importance not only of being in top shape, but of allowing every area of my life to be under submission to the Lord. My past propels me along, both the mistakes and the victories, to the future whose light has a gravitational pull.

In the meantime is the present, the life meant to be lived fully and loved ferociously.

It is where the devil resides.

He will stop at nothing to derail me, hitting me where it hurts the most- my heart. I’ve had a few situations lately that have left me seeking answers.

When do you turn the other cheek? When do you bring it to the person? When do you denounce it publicly? Even Jesus called out Judas to the other disciples without saying his name.

I have a hard time giving my testimony without mentioning the actions of those who affected me. I do an awful lot of protecting people who treat me horribly.

Even today, on a mountaintop high as I finished my “walk talk” with the Lord, my dad drove up on the Gator, one of my son-in-laws riding shotgun. Despite being less than a foot from my face, he stared ahead like a statue, stone-still and silent. It wasn’t surprising- he usually ignores me, his disdain toward his wife’s mother no secret in our family.

It still hurts.

But the Lord has given me a new tool to deal with the in-laws and outlaws who now hate me, a verse that I’ve hidden deep within my heart: If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet. Matthew 10:14

Sometimes, though, I bang that dust like I’m on eraser duty after a full day of chalkboard lessons.