faith unfaded

I gotta tell y’all…the road to Heaven has been paved with some sharp gravel the last couple of days.

First, my literal walk on the gravel driveway yesterday- a brisk 20-minute to the mailbox and back- has my left foot bruised and achy today.

Add in several continual conflicts with a loved one today and I ended up in a place mentally I’ve work hard to stay out of.

I’m hurt, I’m angry, I’m frustrated, I’m resentful. Every jagged rock I’ve had to walk over spiritually today has pierced my heart.

I feel as if I was sucker punched by Satan.

It’s hard when someone you love is an unknowing vessel for the devil’s attacks. I know that we wrestle not against flesh and blood. (Ephesians 6:12) I understand the spiritual warfare at play here.

It doesn’t make it hurt any less nor does it keep me from wanting to scream sometimes. My heart is sorrowful not just from their actions but my reaction as well.

I feel like I failed a semester exam today, not putting into practicum what I so confidently shared in Bible study earlier this week.

I know that’s part of the reason the attack was so strong.

I followed my best mom-slash-teacher advice and removed myself from the situation, distracting myself with a book and practicing deep breathing. I am at peace now but I’ve got to do better next time.

Love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8) and I do love deeply. I also worked very hard to eradicate anger from my heart. Satan tries hard to get it back in there but he will not prevail.

God will.

…it is the LORD’s purpose that will prevail. Proverbs 19:21

By staying focused on Him and His purpose for my life, I will once again ease on down the road…