faith unfaded

Sometimes friendships just run their course.

We learn about friendships as children when people come into our lives that just click with us. We share experiences, we play, we plot, we comfort. We become friends by sharing a neighborhood, the same teacher, a ball team.

As adults, we meet our friends the same way: through work, church, social groups. If we are lucky, we’ve held on to a few of those childhood friendships as well.

Friendships can be like the tide, full of ebbs and flows. Some friends are always going to be around even through time, distance, and silence. Some friendships just end, either gradually or with a heartbreaking event.

I’ve lost a few friends in my life that I thought would be around forever. I’ve had friends I grew so close to that I was certain our bond would transcend location. Distance can be a friendship killer.

I had a friendship breakup after my daughter died. My friend simply told me that she knew it was irrational but she was pregnant and being around me made her fear her baby would die. That one stung.

Last year I watched as several friends jumped ship. I could hardly blame them, I had temporarily lost my mind. At the time the mass rejection left me reeling. In the midst of it though were true friendships that rose to the top like cream separating itself out.

I learned the value of quality over quantity when it came to friends.

As I rebuilt my life in 2024 I focused on Christ. That brought new friends…and removed some old. I began to see friendships as seasons, some lasting longer than others. There often isn’t a right or a wrong or sides to be taken. Some friendships just don’t last forever. Accepting this truth has brought tremendous peace to a once troubled heart.

That doesn’t mean there isn’t hurt when it happens though. I was caught off guard this weekend to discover I hadn’t made the invite list this year for a party hosted by one of my best friends. I’d known the friendship was in trouble but thought it was strong enough to survive.

Apparently it wasn’t. As heartbroken as I was, I chose to focus on the good. We had been there for each other during the roughest parts of each of our lives. Our friendship had been real and there was genuine love. But the bond has been broken.

Life will be full of broken bonds in your relationships. You can choose to let evil fill the cracks with hurt, anger, and rejection, or you can allow the Lord to fill the crevices with love, happy memories, and thankfulness for the times you did have together.

There is a time for everything in life. (Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8) Move forward with grace and understanding in Christ.