faith unfaded

Inspired by the Matthew West song…

You’re the God who stays
You’re the one who runs in my direction
When the whole world walks away

Last February I watched as it seemed everyone walked away. Long-time friends had enough of my drama, family was tired of my crazy, the producers of my scriptwriting gig “went in a different direction.” I felt ghosted by just about the whole world.

Yet God pulled me closer.

You’re the God who stands
With wide open arms
And You tell me nothing I have ever done can separate my heart
From the God who stays

I think He needed it all to go away, this liposuction of life. He needed me to rely on Him alone. He needed me to believe that He was enough.

I used to hide
Every time I thought I let You down
I always thought I had to earn my way
But I’m learning You don’t work that way, no
‘Cause somehow You don’t see me like I do

He’d been gracious in leaving me a father and a best friend who stayed when everyone else walked away. They held my head up when I couldn’t lift my eyes to Heaven.

I eventually started to see myself as He saw me. The washed-clean version, the redeemed reboot. I started walking in faith instead of operating on feelings. I realized that He’d always been there. Through trauma, through bad choices, through hurt, through regret, through good times, through bad.

He’d been right by my side as I relived it all in a healing journey to be set completely free. At times it was intense. But none of it separated me from Him. Even in the midst of my madness, I knew that whatever was happening was happening at the feet of Jesus.

My shame can’t separate
My guilt can’t separate
My past can’t separate
My sin can’t separate
My scars can’t separate
My failures can’t separate
No enemy can separate
No power of hell can take away
Your love for me will never change

It doesn’t matter who leaves in your life. Some people are only meant to be in your life for a season.

It doesn’t matter what you have done in the past. God sees you as He created you. Don’t hide from Him in shame. Let Him restore you. Become who He designed you to be.

For me, God was gracious and restored many of my relationships. Some ended but He also brought new friends into my life. Restoration occurred with some of my loved ones and He gave me strength to withstand the pain of those that did not.

But above all that, He gave me the deep knowing that even if the whole world disappeared once again, I still had all I needed in Him.

You, LORD, are all I have, and you give me all I need; my future is in your hands. Psalm 16:5

But as for me, God’s presence is all I need. I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter. Psalm 37:28

If God is all you have, you have all you need. John 14:8

I’m Yours forever
‘Cause you’re the God who stays
You’re the God who stays