faith unfaded

As we wrapped up a study on forgiveness in Sunday School today, I was aware that this has been one of my biggest stumbling blocks in life. 

I tend to forgive bigger sins against me that happened a long time ago while holding on to the recent ones, no matter how small, for just a little longer. 

This keeps me in bondage. 

There were a few practical points that helped me with forgiveness that I’d like to share. 

• Our memory verse was from Job 5:2: Resentment kills a fool… Do I really want to be a fool because I’m harboring resentment toward someone, no matter what they did?
• SS Teacher Carolyn Boniol: “You’re drinking the poison and wanting THEM to die.” 😳
• When you forgive, you GIVE UP the right  to see the consequences that person will suffer for their actions. You RECEIVE the freedom to move on. 

I was in a situation through most of the summer that was unbearably hard. I had every right to be angry and demand justice. But at some point I had to let it go. I may see the Lord’s sentencing for this wickedness and I may not. But as long as I was harboring unforgiveness, I was the one paying for the crime. 

• Of all the categories of forgiveness (people who don’t believe they’ve done wrong, people who don’t realize they hurt me, etc) there was one that stood out: People I refuse to forgive because my need for justice is too big. 
• I hold myself accountable for my actions and I hold others accountable as well. I am direct and unafraid to call out sin. But I am not prosecutor, judge, and jury. 

• Forgiveness is a choice. This I’ve understood for some time. As someone who feels deeply, I know not to rely on feelings. Forgiveness is something you make a conscious effort to do. For me, I have a tendency to “change my mind” and pick the offense back up again. I must guard against that. 
• Forgiveness is a gift, a conscious decision, a desire to move on in your faith walk, a release, and sometimes very difficult. Forgiveness is NOT forgetting, excusing the behavior, losing, or easy. 
• Forgiveness and reconciliation are two different things. There are people in my life (family, true friends) in which I pray for both. There are some (abusers, toxic friends) that I need to forgive but never reconcile with. 

I loved the comparison between forgiveness and reconciliation!! Know when to pray for both and when to pray only for forgiveness. 

Forgiveness releases the offender from your mind; reconciliation is the effort to rejoin. 

Forgiveness is a free gift to the one who has broken trust; reconciliation requires restored trust. 

Forgiveness is not earned; reconciliation must be earned. 

Forgiveness is unconditional and requires no repentance; reconciliation is conditional, based on repentance. 

But most importantly…

It takes one to forgive; it takes two to reconcile. 

• Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
  
• Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

• Colossians 3:13 Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
  
  Give YOURSELF the gift of forgiveness whether the recipient is yourself, a loved one, or an enemy. Because the person who gets set free is YOU!