faith unfaded

You can’t just run off to a monastery in the rolling hills of Kentucky a la Sound of Music’s Maria to solve life’s problems.

Oh wait, I did that.

But you know what? Time didn’t stand still nor did life stop. Problems remained and life still happened around me.

On my second trip to the Abbey of Gethsemani, a trip designed to retreat to the mountaintop with the Lord to finish my book, I found myself in the midst of an intense spiritual battle instead.

I went clamoring to the cleft of the rock instead. I needed refuge.

At first I was angry and frustrated. I felt like I’d been robbed of an experience I’d expected to have. What I didn’t realize was that the Lord had always had something else in mind: a lesson.

I didn’t have my peace and joy stolen in this sanctified place like I’d thought. He gave me the gift of being in one of His majestic hiding places while I learned to weather a storm. He taught me how to enjoy life even in the midst of a trial.

It was a training exercise.

Life gets busy. We can’t just take off for a vacation. We don’t always have the luxury of going off alone for quiet time. We must learn how to abide in Him. We need to know how to retreat to the quiet places alone with Him even in the midst of a crowd.

When I returned home not only was I was still reeling from Satan’s attacks, I was having to contend with situations that had the propensity to derail me. I found myself reacting more and more in the flesh.

In the flesh is no good thing. (Romans 7:18)

I had to get still. I had to get quiet.

I also had to keep moving. Life was not going to wait for me if I decided to spiral. Joy was not going to be accessible if I buried it under depression. I needed seclusion with the Lord without isolation from the world.

I looked at my calendar. Everything optional was removed. Commitments stayed even if I wasn’t in the mood to go. I spent less time talking to people, knowing that the more I talked about situations the more upset I’d get. I needed to listen to Him and I needed to rebuke my own thoughts.

I went to bed early a couple of nights, the sun and I in a race for who would go out first. I pray often for the Lord to handle in my sleep what my heart can’t handle while awake.

I stood on the belief that faith often contradicts feelings. Despite what I saw or felt, I believed in His Word. He would never leave. (Deuteronomy 31:8) He can make a way out of no way. (Isaiah 43:19) His righteous Hand will uphold me. (Isaiah 41:10)

Even in the midst of a busy life, we can retreat to the shadow of the Almighty (Psalm 91) when our eyes and hearts are trained fully on Him.

You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. Psalm 32:7