Someone asked me this today. I immediately popped off a list of things I was rightfully upset over.
But the Lord quickly showed me the deception in my own heart.
Those were things of concern, no doubt, but I’d been able to carry them with His yoke.
It was two hidden sins that were causing me the most trouble. Unforgiveness and guilt.
I was harboring unforgiveness toward someone and each time they did something that upset me, no matter how minor, I became furious. I thought they owed me more respect and consideration because they’d wronged me and I’d worked so hard to forgive them.
That’s not how forgiveness works.
The guilt was my own. I was upset at the actions of some church people that have left my former husband facing homelessness after pastoring for decades. As poorly as they’ve treated him, deep inside I’ve accepted blame for opening the door to Satan’s attack on his life. I was so angry last year.
I’m upset with myself.
I do not regret my decisions as they were prayerfully made. But I certainly feel guilty living the life of my dreams when he is facing a nightmare.
Unforgiveness and guilt are of Satan. Accepting them in my heart is sin. Allowing anger to remain is willingly stepping away from God.
He didn’t restore me to watch me go back into bondage. I must make a choice. Serve Him or serve Satan.
It’s that simple.
It hurts. It’s hard. It’s scary.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7
God has a plan. I have to fix my eyes on Him and take one step at a time. He will uphold us with His hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
I just have to stop allowing anger to mask the true strongholds in my life.
faith unfaded 
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