faith unfaded

“It’s been a long year. It almost took me down, I swear,” TobyMac sings in the opening lines of his 2022 hit “Faithfully”.

I immediately related to the gut-wrenching pain and unfiltered honesty in his words.

“I’ll never be the same man. I’ll never feel like I felt before. It’s been a hard year, it almost took me down.”

TobyMac penned these lyrics after he lost his oldest son to an accidental drug overdose. We all have those moments in life that forever change us. I call them cruxes in our timelines, those definable moments worth notating much as we did on those diagrams in the history classes of our youth.

Only these indentions are made on our hearts and leave battle scars on our souls.

“But when my world broke into pieces, You were there faithfully. When I cried out to You, Jesus, You made a way for me. I may never be the same man but I’m a man who still believes.”

We almost always fall into two camps in times of sorrow: those who run to Jesus and those who run from Him.

I’ve done both in my life many times. It’s almost dizzying to see the circles I’ve run to and from the Throne, over and over. I became exhausted.

Even with my heart planted firmly at His feet, my mind continued to torment me with guilt, shame, and regret. Past trauma played on endless loop.

“In my darkest hour, You met me. So quietly, so gently. You said You’d never leave and You stood by Your word.”

He helped me unravel it all. He broke strongholds; He quieted the chaos that had flooded my mind for years. He wiped the tears that threaten to drown me. He raised me up.

“When I cried out to You, Jesus. You were there faithfully.”

I discovered that I’d never been waiting on Him to come rescue me. Rather, He’d been patiently waiting for me to surrender.

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Check out Faithfully by TobyMac here: https://youtu.be/i5ts5uFsVis?si=hFx1UlRsMx58eBPI