faith unfaded

It was a bit of a rough night…

My standing Saturday night date with my 7-year old grandson was rockier than usual last night.

We had fun and played games as usual, our Louisiana Saturday nights filled with the innocence of youth before the much-needed Sundays of worship.

But during the lulls we were both in our heads.

We share a similar heart and mind and I know the words and feelings that pour of his young soul because they aren’t dissimilar to my own. I am the elder; I must set an example.

Vacillating between godly encouragement and fiery scripture to combat Satan’s lies in his tormented head, I grew weary and let the devil get in mine.

There are just so many people I’m so hurt and angry with.

I poured out my heart, my soul, and my works to so many of them, my worth now treated as a piece of sidewalk gum stepped in on a hot summer day.

I am merely an annoyance to those I love so dearly.

I endlessly plead with God to bring them back. Or to at least take away my pain.

I never plead to stop caring or loving them; I love my heart too much.

But something has to change, I cry.

When my tears are louder than His words, He puts a song* in my heart. The lyrics speak louder than the tormenting of my mind.

🎶 t’s the hardest thing to give away
And the last thing on your mind today
It always goes to those who don’t deserve
It’s the opposite of how you feel
When they pain they caused is just too real
Takes everything you have to say the word
Forgiveness, forgiveness

But nothing changes, God when I forgive…

That’s why you do it for you, not them, He whispers…

🎶 It flies in the face of all your pride
It moves away the mad inside
It’s always anger’s own worst enemy
Even when the jury and the judge
Say you’ve got a right to hold a grudge
It’s the whisper in your ear saying set it free
Forgiveness, forgiveness

My heart began settling during a fitful sleep. I felt his little body growing calmer as well.

🎶 It’ll clear the bitterness away
It can even set a prisoner free
There is no end to what its power can do
So let it go and be amazed by what you see through eyes of grace
The prisoner that it really frees is you
Forgiveness, forgiveness 🎶🎶

We woke up this morning renewed and refreshed.

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

*Forgiveness, Matthew West