faith unfaded

It’s going to be hard to sum up 9 years of ministry in a single blog post but I’m going to try.

It started out great. I was on fire, in full-time ministry, and raring to go.

I lasted about three years. Then I started doing it in the flesh. Of course, like anyone who has walked in the Spirit before, it’s very difficult to see when you are no longer in the Spirit. Between our head knowledge and Satan’s machinations, we are easily deceived.

I slowly shut down spiritually.

Not physically- not at first. I was still cooking for crowds and doing projects and ministering here and there, but nothing like walking in that light when we’d first moved to the coast.

And then I started dying physically as well.

That’s not an exaggeration; I ended up in the hospital five times.

The last time the Lord made me decide: did I want to live or die?

I decided to live.

The following months were a whirlwind of self-discovery and identity in Christ. It’s been amazing and I’ve written at length in previous blog posts about this journey and arriving “home”.

But this post is about ministry.

And how it feels to be out here slaying and fighting spiritually while hugging and caring for the flesh and blood housing those demons.

I’m having to learn how to do that at home too.

I don’t always want to. But I do. Not for him. Not for me. Not for the past. Not for the future. I do it because that’s what God said to do.

Love one another.

Bear one another’s burdens.

Wrestle not against flesh and blood.

I get it.

I do better away from home but I AM getting better at home too.

I’m a #workinprogress.

But the ministry?

That’s currently the source of the beating of my heart.

I meet people all day long from all walks of life. I befriended 4 strangers today.

One was about 10- I may never see her again. But what a great conversation we had! I thanked one lady for cutting through the noise in my head when I panicked over traffic and bridge detours on the phone on the way to the Biloxi dental office in the midst of detours and accidents, not to mention the increased traffic for Cruising the Coast.

I bought one girl a meal (of course I shared Jesus…but not before taking care of her physical needs) and I exchanged numbers with a store employee about to break while caring for a mom with dementia. It wasn’t coincidence; the Lord told me to go find her and share my story as I was really trying to hurry out the door.

We clicked right away. I know she will call; I hope she comes to visit one day as well. I’ve always wanted my home to be an oasis for anyone wanting to stop by. But it’s got to be a refuge for its inhabitants first and foremost. I have to be the one to set that tone.

It’s not always easy. But it’s necessary. This parsonage was not built for me and my dogs. Or even me and my husband. It was built for ministry. I mustn’t lose sight of that again.

But back to being out and about today….

In addition to the new friends mentioned above, there were many more that I spoke to, overshared with, or made smile in darkened rooms. I try to light up every place my feet touch.

I had a friend who went with me today. She was a little surprised every time she realized I didn’t actually know the person I was talking to! But I start in the middle of a conversation with everyone, like we’ve been friends for years.

We sort of have. Because ministry is allowing the Holy Spirit, who KNOWS that person, to work through you…your eyes, ears, hands, and heart. They are seen. They are heard. They are loved.

Plus, when you open up just a little part of yourself, people respond in kind.

We all just want to feel connected.

An oasis for weary souls…and an open invitation for day or overnight visits…